Rawbin

Willabee Wallabee Woo

2009-04-02T16:48:00.003-05:00

Finally I have found them...the mythical toddler size Wallabees. I take what I think might be an unhealthy amount of pleasure in having my husband and son in matching shoes.

ps. they also have fuschia ones for little girls.

Welcome to Hard Times

2009-03-12T15:44:00.003-05:00

I neglected to mention that Ian had a poem published on the website Starting Today: Poems for the First 100 Days. He is a humble poet, not given to self-promotion. I am a lazy blogger. Still, you should read it!

I sit and listen to them by myself

2009-03-12T15:29:00.002-05:00

we got our record player up & running again. I'm loving some old records today.

Home Stuff

2009-03-11T23:23:00.002-05:00

I bought some new things for the house today:

Truffaut Film Poster for the bedroom. Muy Romantico.

Embroidered Kilim Rug, for...not sure yet. But it intrigued me, so I adopted it.

cabin fever

2008-12-22T22:30:00.002-06:00

I admit it, I've got cabin fever tonight. There's 16 inches of snow outside my house right now and I've only left the house once in the past 3 days. I'm just dinking around on the computer and listening to a little Neil Young. Look at this cool blanket I found:

Helsinki blanket by Henrik Vibskov - found at Stand Up Comedy

a little zig, a little zag

2008-12-22T21:56:00.003-06:00

Ever since I found that Africa rug I've been trying to figure out how much it costs. I know, setting myself up for heartbreak. Trouble is, now I have my heart set on a zig zag rug. A google search for "zig zag rug" yielded the wonderful Etsy shop Finnishweaver. I adore her rugs and wall hangings.

NEW/OLD

2008-12-22T20:48:00.002-06:00

I've realized the look I'm after is NOLD.
photo via Remodelista

I love you, Rug

2008-12-20T15:22:00.004-06:00

"Africa" rug by The Rug Company
Price upon request. That's not a good sign.

1000 Words

2008-12-20T14:59:00.003-06:00

and...exhale.

2008-12-13T14:57:00.002-06:00

So, I've decided to come back to this space again. I took an extended break to move & enjoy the summer (and, uh...fall too) with my family & friends but I've been told that my presence here was missed, and frankly I miss it too. I've felt rather uninspired and unmoored for the past 5 months or so since we moved and I think that's why I stopped writing here. I just felt busy with life and otherwise blah with not much to share.

One of the things that had me holding my breath since we arrived here was the fact that we desperately wanted to buy a home where we can put down some roots. I must say the search was disheartening. Nothing in our price range was even remotely considerable, and we would come home heads hung low and wonder if we'd made the right move coming back here. UNTIL! We found it...a 1951 ranch with tons of windows and natural light - an open floor plan and a rumpus room. TWO fireplaces. It needs work but we are pleased as punch and I can't wait to start cataloging my inspiration here. As well as the trials & tribulations of renovation & home improvements. I'm happy to have something to look forward to and a nest to feather. This has been a dream of ours for such a long time.

I promise pics soon!

Like Death Warmed Over

2008-06-24T10:32:00.002-05:00

Things in the Harris household took a turn for the worse over the weekend with poor Max coming down with hand/foot/mouth disease. Essentially it is a common childhood virus that entails a mouth full of painful sores, a mad diaper rash, and often blisters on the hands & feet. Poor baby can't really eat or drink and is utterly miserable. It is these moments of helplessness when I really feel what it means to be a parent. To bear witness to the suffering, even if I can't make it go away. To hold him and stroke his hot little head and sing songs to him. There is absolutely nothing worse than seeing your child in pain, and I am amazed to find wells of patience and empathy I never thought I was capable of.

We just need to make it through this week -- we are flying home on Friday and there is so much to be done before then. I am terrified, and tired, but mostly really really excited.

Another Reason I'm Glad We're Moving to Portland

2008-06-20T14:47:00.004-05:00

The Modern Economy Sample Sale at the Ace Hotel on July 19th!
visit Modern Economy for more details & to get your heart racing!

I Always Suspected My Superiority

2008-06-20T10:43:00.002-05:00

Did you know that sarcasm is an evolutionary survival skill? Sarcasm is also very funny.

Drugstore Beauty

2008-06-18T10:35:00.004-05:00

I am a total sucker for beauty products. It seems like every time I go to the store to buy something I actually need (diapers) I come out with something I really don't need (more lotion or soap or...). I always like to mix it up and switch a product before I am done with it, which is why I am really not looking forward to cleaning out my linen closet/toiletry boneyard this weekend in anticipation of the move. In honor of my newfound (and most likely short-lived) dedication to simplification of my beauty routine, I thought I would catalog my favorite skin & haircare items here -- if only to remind myself next time I think I should try something different.

1. Neutrogena Visibly Even Foaming Cleanser - This is the best drugstore cleanser I have come across, and I have tried MANY. I am afraid to proclaim my devotion to this cleanser for fear it will be summarily discontinued. My skin never looks better than when I'm using this regularly.

2. Eucerin SPF 30 moisturizer - I love this lotion. This is the only SPF lotion I have tried that doesn't turn my face into an oil slick or make me break out. I use this for daytime.

3. Eucerin Calming Creme - I think this is meant for the body but I use it on my face at night and it is awesome. My skin is prone to redness and is very sensitive and this stuff has really helped with that.

4. Better Botanicals Rose Toning Mist - I use this twice a day, after I wash my face and before I put my moisturizer on. I find that when I don't use this, I use too much moisturizer and then my skin feels oily later on. This has also helped with my redness problem.

5. Kiehl's Amino Acid Shampoo - I don't think I will ever stop using this shampoo. I only wash my hair 2 or 3 times per week, and this shampoo manages to get out all the junk without making my hair feel dry. I don't have to use a conditioner with this shampoo and it smells divine. Expensive, yes but in my opinion, worth every cent.

One Year Old

2008-06-13T09:47:00.002-05:00

I'm a little behind on posts over here. The last month has been really hectic, getting ready for the big move. Two weeks from today Max and I fly back to Oregon on our one-way ticket to paradise: home. We are very excited but I'd be lying if I didn't say we're a little sad, too. But, that's a post for another day, probably 3 months from now which is about my turnaround time for blogging events.

On May 26, Max turned one. We had a great party (though not the party we planned - stupid rain) with lots of friends and family. Max didn't really know what to do with the cake -- he kind of sat there looking around at everyone trying to assess the situation before tentatively sticking his fingers in the icing. Then, he didn't really like the way that felt (he doesn't go for sticky stuff on his hands) so he tried to shake it off. When that didn't work he finally stuck a finger in his mouth and I saw a little flicker of recognition come over his face: "Hey! That's Goooooodddd!!" He hasn't really had sugar before so I think it was pretty powerful for him. He got tired of the cake & icing shortly thereafter. I think he could have eaten a whole pizza, though. Kid loves him some pizza. I guess I understand.

While we were in Portland, Max was becoming much more interested in walking, and took his first unassisted steps in Sean & Eileen's living room. When we got home, though - he really took off. Now he is a little speed demon, cruising all over the house looking for trouble. He does not like to sit still, and is relishing every moment of his newfound bi-pedalism. He still crawls from time to time if he wants to get somewhere really fast, but mostly he's a walking guy now. I can hardly believe that just a year ago he weighed under 7 lbs and practically fit in one hand. Happy Birthday Max - I can't wait to see what adventures are on the horizon for you in your second year of life!

A Bittersweet Farewell

2008-05-06T11:47:00.001-05:00

DSC_0153.JPG, originally uploaded by maelid.

I suppose it is fair to say that my nursing relationship with Max was not what I expected. When I was pregnant, I really never considered the notion that breastfeeding might be difficult, especially at first. I had visions of my friend Michelle, casually holding her son Oliver at her breast as we went through the checkout line at the grocery store, or of women I'd seen at my midwife's office, just nonchalantly whipping out a boob in the waiting room to an eager, thirsty little guy or gal. Well, as is the case with so many things about motherhood, things did not go according to the plan I had in my head. Um, essentially that plan was: "baby born, baby's mouth placed to breast, baby drinks happily." I think that may happen for some moms but that is not what happened for me.
The process of Max's birth was not as I expected -- I had prepared for a natural birth attended by my midwife in a hospital birthing center. 3.5 weeks prior to my due date my blood pressure skyrocketed and it was determined that I would need to be induced due to pre-eclampsia. The induction lasted 2.5 days, during which time I was on a magnesium sulfate drip, not permitted to eat, and not able to really move around. They tried several things to get things going, but in the end it was pitocin that kicked things off. By that point I was extremely groggy and exhausted and consented to the epidural because I didn't think I had the physical strength to deliver him myself., as I would have had to do it lying down since I was still hooked up to the IV. Because I had been on the mag sulfate and that affects the baby's heart rate, there was a neonatologist on hand to examine him after the birth. In retrospect I feel eternally grateful to my midwife and to the very pro-midwifery hospital that I was able to have a vaginal birth, as I have told this story to many people who have suggested that if I had been elsewhere I would surely have had a C section. Anyhow, after about 2.5 hours of pushing Max was born but he was not placed on my chest directly as I had long envisioned. Instead he was immediately whisked away before I could really have a look at him and I did not see him for over a hour. I remember when he was brought to me, he was sleeping and I tried to nurse him but he would not latch on. I was disappointed but knew we would try again and keep trying until we got the hang of it. Little did I know I would be trying for over two months.
Max didn't really like nursing. He had reflux and was uncomfortable in the standard cradle hold position. I also had extreme over-supply and remember so many times where Max would be screaming in discomfort in my arms while milk was spraying out of control all over the place. I slept in a bra with 2 layers of nursing pads for over two months. Eventually we got to a place where nursing worked, but I always felt I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, and never felt very relaxed in my role as a nursing mother. I felt very sad about it for a long time, and felt like my relationship with my son was less because we didn't have this ultra-intense nursing bond.
Max last nursed 4 days ago now, and had been gradually giving it up for the past few months. He was down to really just one nursing a day for the past couple of weeks and every time I wondered if this one would be the last one. I would look down at him and try to burn the feeling of him at my breast into my memory forever but that feeling is so ephemeral. I am immensely proud that I worked so hard for my son to have the milk that was made just for him, and I am sad that our time nursing is over. This morning I packed up my pump at work and shed a tear or two. I won't really miss nursing necessarily. I know I definitely won't miss pumping. I guess I just miss my little baby! Max is turning one in just a few weeks and that is hard to compute.

The Hills are Alive

2008-04-09T09:24:00.003-05:00

I don't have a lot of time to discover new music anymore. During my early twenties I spent a lot of time & energy seeking out new music to listen to but now I guess you could say I'm in a comfortable rut with the maybe 25 songs I like and listen to over and over again. I'm pretty ok with that. Still, sometimes I like to have something new to hear. I've been listening to a couple of new (to me) things lately and I thought I'd share.

1. Salt & Samovar. I probably wouldn't know about this band right now had I not been in a wedding with one of its members last summer. Dane, it was nice walking up the aisle with you and thanks for telling me about your band -- I love this album. It makes me want to live in a dirt-floor cottage and wear a long skirt.

2. The Cave Singers. Ian must have discovered this because one day it was just there on my iPod and it has become an instant favorite. This also has kind of a rusty, dirty feeling for me. It also kind of spooked me when I first listened to it, in a good way.

Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose!

2008-04-02T15:18:00.002-05:00

Well this makes my week! Friday Night Lights is coming back for a third season! Coach Taylor is my hero.

Ten Months

2008-03-26T13:46:00.001-05:00

DSC_0092.JPG, originally uploaded by maelid.

If I Had A Hammer

2008-02-28T08:54:00.003-06:00

photograph by Christopher Felver

Last night Ian and I watched an inspiring and touching documentary about Pete Seeger. I think my eyes were damp the whole time I was watching it. I also heard him interviewed on Bob Edwards Weekend on NPR over the weekend and was literally moved to tears by his simple message of peace through song. I love to sing, and don't do enough of it. There is nothing that lifts the spirit more than singing in a group. I'm adding make time for singin' to my 2008 to-do list.

Nine Months

2008-02-26T11:36:00.001-06:00

, originally uploaded by maelid.

Max, I both cannot believe you are already 9 months old and that I haven't always known you. This photo perfectly captures your personality -- sparkling & sunny, engaging & personable. You are always ready for a new adventure and you have no time anymore for idle snuggling. Your favorite food is smashed avocado (baby guacamole) and you hate wearing hats even though we love putting them on you to take a quick picture. You also cannot abide having your diaper changed or getting dressed. Your favorite toy is whatever is most dangerous within a five foot radius and like both of your parents, you seem to have a special connection to soft blankies. None has emerged a clear favorite but I anticipate one will. You are crawling at a clip now, and love to pull up on the furniture and are tentatively beginning to move from side to side while holding on. I try to remember to slow down with you and really take in each special moment, to savor your babyhood but I will admit that I don't always do enough of that. You have filled my heart hundreds of times over and even when you wake up at 4 am and demand that its time to play, your sweet, open, smiling face makes it really hard to be mad. I love you, Max.

HomeVisions

2008-02-14T12:09:00.003-06:00

As our little family begins gearing up to make the big move back west, I find myself spending lots of time ogling real estate listings in Portland & surrounding areas. Here are some photos of one that caught my eye recently. It is a little small but man is it ever cute. I think our family of 3 could live in an 1100 sf home, but I worry about when the time comes to add Harris #4 (NOT thinking about this now, believe me!) and would like to have a little more room than that. Still, these photos have me salivating:

Max & His Waffle Box on Vimeo

2008-02-14T08:43:00.001-06:00

Max & His Waffle Box on Vimeo, originally uploaded by maelid.

testing!

Grab Bag

2008-02-11T16:30:00.001-06:00

, originally uploaded by maelid.

Some things on my mind:

1. I didn't like Juno. There. I said it. Juno the character bugged me. I don't think I could be a high school teacher because I find teenagers to be pretty annoying. Also I resented the treatment of Jennifer Garner's character. It was kind of like a bad meal: I liked it while I was watching it but when I really stopped and thought about it I decided I didn't like it after all. My $0.02.

2. I heard a rumor that NBC is thinking of cancelling Friday Night Lights. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

3. 2 of my favorite ladies are preggo and I'm sad I'm not in Oregon to witness the transformation.

4. I saw Cat Power last night and it was great. I want some white leather loafers. She has a great effortless style that I really like.

Once I was dug up

2008-01-09T08:41:00.000-06:00

I saw the movie Once last weekend and I cannot get it out of my head. I adore it. I haven't felt this way about a movie maybe since Amelie, which if you know me and my feelings about Amelie then you know the love is pretty strong. The intimacy & honesty in the film really touched me. I also liked the music but mostly I love the girl. I don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it, but if you haven't seen it, you definitely should. I felt while I was watching it that a part of me that has been shut down for some time now was coming back to the surface. I feel like I haven't allowed myself the time or mental space to appreciate art of any kind since Max was born or even the last few months of being pregnant. What I thought about a lot while watching the film and since is that spontanaeity is somewhat absent from my day-to-day. Happy accidents don't happen for me anymore. It is rare that I'm not in a hurry and since I seem to be in a hurry a lot of the time there isn't room for that inspirational spark of conversation with a stranger or looking out the window of the train to see something unexpected and beautiful. I really miss that freedom sometimes. Of course, I'm really in a hurry to get home and get my paws on my baby, but I've got to get creative about finding the cracks in my routine and recognizing unexpected beauty when its there.

I heard on the radio that the two stars from Once are going to be on my most-loathed radio program Sound Opinions this week. I've really hated that show since they basically called Feist a cheap Nina Simone knockoff. Those guys are idiots. I hope they approach this with a little more respect. I might have to actually listen to this show.