Sunday, December 18, 2005

Feeling the Heat

This morning I woke up from the weirdest dream I've ever had. I dreamed that Shaquille O'Neal had gotten into some trouble with the NBA and rather than stick him with some astronomical fines, they arranged a riding lawnmower race in the country, which would go from barn to barn to barn and end at another barn. I do not know how I came to be a participant in this race, but I found myself at the starting line with my dad's old silver & burgundy Montgomery Ward riding mower. There was this amazing buffet set up in the barn and I was stealthily putting cookies and sandwiches into my cargo pants pockets. (this is how I knew it was a dream...I haven't worn a cargo pant since '98) So the race got off to a fine start but at the first barn I had some trouble re-fueling because the fuel was contained in one of those cardboard cylinders that pop open when you make Pillsbury Crescent rolls. My fuel cell cylinder wouldn't open and I got very frustrated and I woke up. So I don't know who won the race or what Shaq did to deserve such a weird punishment. I've never even liked Shaq as a basketball player. I have cursed his name on more than one occasion during a close post-season game. I think that this dream is the result of a Saturday night spent watching TBS. The dream was essentially a mashup of all the advertising I endured while watching Home Alone followed by Kate & Leopold. Really, I have got to get a life!


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